I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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