would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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