Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
