I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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