you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
