at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
