I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
