Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What a dumb baby whore.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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