she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
