You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize