I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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