What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
