Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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