Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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