I'm jealous of your bromance
Fuck appropriateness.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
