I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am available for nakedness
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
