wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
