You work out of a Hotel?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize