She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
