no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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