she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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