So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
