Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
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