So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
