he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize