it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
