Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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