wanna go halves on a baby?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
