i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
