I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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