i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize