it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
