Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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