dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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