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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize