This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize