and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize