I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
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She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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