don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
