CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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