So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
