They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
