Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
