I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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