He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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