I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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