Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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