white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
