We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am available for nakedness
Can't talk, ducks in the car
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
