that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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