Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The ass gains better be worth it
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