She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize