There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize