He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
