you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
3pm strippers are depressing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
