i would punch a child for taco bell
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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