somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
