Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
